Trials: Hard to live with them but you can't live without them.

Where do I even begin? The past 5 months since my last post have been filled with the comings and goings of everyday life and I've loved every minute of it. It's funny, I'll get on my blog and check every one else's posts and get frustrated when it's been several days/weeks/months since some people last posted and then I look at the date at the top of my page...oops. I won't try and re-cap the last 5 months because that wouldn't be very much fun for me or for anyone who may actually read this blog. So I'll just start with what's going on right now.

I'm still working at a daycare in Lehi and I honestly do love my job. Believe it or not, my job really pushes me and challenges me everyday and I really have to work to stay on top of things. I have a really good relationship with my boss and other co-workers. Not every one can say that so I consider myself really lucky to call my co-workers my friends. The kids are so awesome and they teach me so much. Sure, they drive me absolutely insane some days but for the most part I just love to be around them and watch them grow and learn about things around them. I'm grateful to be even a small part of their lives and I try my best be a positive influence.

I love my apartment and the roommates I have now. We all get along so well and I have really come to love and appreciate each one of them. They have blessed my life in ways they will never know. Kimmy is so amazing and I learn so much from her. She's taught me how to not sweat the small things and how to look at the world in other points of view. I've always been kind of closed minded but Kimmy has helped me open my eyes to other things. I've always been so impressed with her knowledge of so many things. I can always count on having a good conversation with Kimmy. Lisa is so easy to relate to. I feel like we are a lot alike in so many ways. She's so kind and sweet and would do anything for just about anyone. I've been impressed by how hard working she is. She will go above and beyond the call of duty and doesn't do anything less than 100% and I love that she is a perfectionist, like me. Jessica is just so fun. I can always count on Jessica to go and do something completely random and crazy and not even think twice about it. She knows how weird I am and she's still my friend so that counts for a lot. Although she likes to have fun she's also one of the most responsible people I've ever met. She has learned how to have a good balance in her life between school, work, friends, church and other things she's involved with. There is so much I can learn from her in that area of my life.

The past couple of weeks I've thought a lot about trials. The last couple of lessons I've taught in Relief Society have been about Agency and the Fall of Adam and Eve. So much about those lessons were centered around decisions and trials in life. We wanted the chance to choose for ourselves and we wanted to prove to our Father in Heaven that we would remember him. Now sometimes I'm not always the best at remembering and doing all of the things I know I'm supposed to do and sometimes I'm just down right lazy and complacent. Sometimes I'm too prideful to acknowledge my Father in Heaven and my Savior. That is why God gives me trials. He does it to humble me, to remind me of my unworthiness and to remind me that I am nothing without Him. Now I'm certain that not all trials in my life were sent my way to bring me to repentance but rather to give me an opportunity to learn and grow in ways I otherwise wouldn't. Now, I'm not a huge fan of going through trials but I've realized more so in the last couple of weeks that trials really are a blessing in my life. I am a different person today than I was several years ago because of certain hardships in my life. It is through trials that my faith is increased, my testimony of the Savior and the role he plays in my life is reaffirmed and becomes more solid than it was before. I honestly don't know what I would do without the gospel in my life. In a world full of wickedness, confusion and turmoil it is the gospel that brings peace into my life and oh sweet is that peace the gospel brings!

General Conference

I was sitting on the top balcony and I had my camera zoomed in as far as it would go and I know this picture is fuzzy but I still think it's cool.
My family, Ryan, Mom, Dad, and Ciara. I know that flash photography is technically not allowed in the conference center but what are you gonna do?


I went to the Sunday afternoon session of conference with my family and I loved every minute of it. I love spending time with my family and especially in a setting such as conference. I've never been a huge fan of actually going to the conference center to listen to conference. In my mind I don't see a point in getting up, showering, getting ready, driving into or close to Salt Lake, fighting the traffic of other cars and people and then sitting in semi-comfortable seats for 2 hours and then going back into the battle zone of people and vehicles to go back home when I could have spent all that time on my couch in my comfy pajamas. To me it should be clear which option sounds more appealing. BUT as much as I love to sit in my pajamas all day I will admit that it was a really good experience to actually go to the conference building. I've been before but it was several years ago and I had forgotten how awesome it is to see the swarms of LDS people flooding the streets and knowing that you have so much in common with them and feeling some kind of connection with them because you are all there for a common purpose - to listen to the prophets of God and other leaders of the church.
There are two moments that made the trip completely worth it. The first is the instant silence and reverence that washes over the entire building when the prophet walks into the room. It was amazing that although no one was talking, or moving and barely breathing I could feel and hear the Holy Ghost bear witness that Thomas S. Monson is a living prophet of God. The second moment was being in the building when Jefferey R. Holland spoke and the 3 seconds after he left the podium. In those 3 seconds I'm positive that the 20,000 people in the room who were holding their breath through the entirety of his talk let out their breath all at once and I actually heard that soft sound of breath being let out and then a slight rustling sound as everyone kind of shifted in their seats. I LOVED Elder Hollands talk and I would definitely say it was my favorite of all the sessions. The power in his voice as he gave his testimony to the world of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon was unreal.
Being there with my family was awesome. I love spending time with them and sometime during the meeting I just looked over and saw all of the sitting there in a row listening to the speaker and I could help but feel such a sense of gratitude for my family and for the relationship that I have with each member. I am so blessed to have been born into my family. I love that the plan of salvation allows me to be with them forever. I only wish I lived closer to home so I could see them more often.

My personality

Today after church I went over to Francis and Rachel's house. I've made it a habit of going over to their house and just talking with Rachel about work, love, marriage, kids, roommates, dating, just life in general. I've come to really enjoy those talks and can count on leaving their house feeling better than I did going in. Today Rachel and I got talking about the color code of people's personalities. For those who don't know what that is, it's a personality code based on what motivates people and it's separated into four colors, Red, Blue, White and Yellow. I've heard of the theory and have always been interested in personality tests and things, so naturally I had to take the test which was in a book Rachel had. I took the test and the result is I am dominantly blue, next highest is White and then Red and Yellow tied. I ended up reading the section of the book where it describes in detail the Blue personality and it was very interesting. Some of the details were of no surprise to me while others were new revelations and insights and now I've been thinking and analyzing myself for the past couple hours and I've come to terms with who I am. I will now share a short list of quirks, pet peeves and insights about me in relation to my "Blue Personality".

1). I am very critical of myself and others
2). I make decisions emotionally
3). I need human interaction, contact, and a way to emotionally connect with those around me.
4). I am a perfectionist
5). I need order and routine in my life.
6). I have high expectations for myself and others which leaves me prone to disappointment and frustration.
7). I am extremely loyal to my friends and family.
8). I am a deep thinker. I often find myself contemplating and looking deeper into situations and relationships.
9). I am a silent observer of things and people around me, constantly analyzing and making judgments.
10). I am very intuitive.
11). I have trust issues
12). I have many talents and gifts but because of my self-critical attribute I tend to hide them because in my mind there is someone who could do it better than me.
13). I feel like good behavior should always be a priority, I get really bugged when people are rude, disrespectful or inconsiderate, especially in situations that in my opinion deserve reverence.
14). I do not communicate my feelings very well. Not to say that I don't like talking, in fact quite the opposite, I love to talk, but when it comes to expressing myself I find there are no words to describe the complex mess of my inner-most feelings.
15). I do things right the first time and struggle to delegate things because if I want it done right I will most likely do it myself.
16). When people hurt me I just pretend like it wasn't important enough to get that upset about, bury the feelings deep inside and then, over something very little, I'll suddenly explode and release all the pent up feelings of hurt, anger and resentment. (not good, I know, I'm working on it)
17).I am a nurturer. I love to take care of people and be in a position where I feel like I can make a difference in someones life.
18). I am control freak. There I said it.

I don't think of myself as a complex person, probably because it's usually pretty easy to tell what kind of mood I'm in, but because I am emotionally driven and my emotions and moods change so frequently I may appear to be complex when in reality I am just being me. It's as simple as that.

Reflections

~ The temple dedication yesterday was so inspiring and I am so glad I was able to attend. The House of the Lord is such a special place and each time I go I leave with a greater desire to be better and I am reminded again why I must strive to live worthy and in a manner consistent with my Heavenly Father's will. I love how strongly I feel the spirit. I am so blessed to have the gospel in my life.

~ I am so grateful for good friends. When I was living at home I was blessed to have had excellent friends and it was really hard for me to leave home and go to school not knowing anyone and having to find new friends. I have found that no matter where I go there are good people and I just have to find those people who have the same standards and values I do. I have made so many friends since I've left home and each person has enriched my life in their own way and I am so glad that God places people in our lives and allows us to learn from and enjoy those friendships.

~ I've found that carrying out decisions is often harder than making decisions.

~ A clean and organized home/room/work place allows me to relax a little more, stress a little less and ultimately I am happier when things are in order.

~ I love how much better I feel during the day when I get up to exercise in the morning.

~ I love my job. Children are so innocent and pure and the kids at work brighten my day in so many ways. I consider it a privilege to be able to work with them; I only hope I can be even the slightest influence for good in their lives.

My Summer

My summer has been pretty jam packed with activities and because I haven't had my computer for the last two months I have not been able to blog about it so I will just sum it all up into one big entry.

I went caving with my friend Tyson this last Saturday and it was awesome!




Two of my friends got married this last Thursday and this was their reception.
The day of my birthday I cut my hair again. I'm loving the short hair and the bangs. This picture was taken right after blow drying, no straightening at all. Be jealous!
I went to dinner with my family a few days before my birthday and as expected the restaurant workers made me put on the hat before they would sing happy birthday to me.
On the 4th of July I wrecked on my mom's scooter and this is my battle wound. The bruises lasted for almost three weeks!
In the first week of June Kimmy and I went to Havasupai with some family and friends. Havasupai is a beautiful oasis at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. 10 mile hike in, 3 days hiking and exploring the waterfalls, rivers and canyons, then 1o mile hike out. It was so beautiful!
My first sunburn of the summer. I was hurtin pretty bad.
Good times with Kimmy at a dance party held right outside my apartment door.
And this is my car! I bought it in March but I never posted a picture of it. Isn't it so cute? I love it!

Customer Service

I have had some serious issues with costumer service people lately.

1) My mom ordered a ipod hookup for my car for my birthday and the dealership people said they would call me when the part arrived....a week after they said it would be here I called them and they said, "Yeah, it's been here for over a week, you just need to come pick it up." MILDLY ANNOYING

2) I had my doctor send in a medication renewal form to my meds dispensing people about 3 weeks ago. A week after it was sent in I get a voicemail saying they need an address verification and to call back, so I did. When I called back the lady said there was no record of them calling me. To make a long story short this pattern of them calling and then not knowing why they called went on for another two weeks. I called again 2 days ago and finally got to the bottom of it and my medication arrived early this morning. REALLY ANNOYING

3) On June 5th I was in the middle of burning cd's to take on my 10 hour drive to Havasupai and suddenly my computer crashes. It sits on my family room floor for a month and then after the 4th of July weekend I take it in to get fixed. They told me it would take maybe two days to get back to me to tell me the problem. After 9 days of waiting I call them and they said the tech is out of the office but that my computer was on his table so he would contact me the next day. Another week goes by and I call again and they tell me the problem, estimated cost of the fixing it and asking me what I wanted to do. I said "Fix it." They told me it would take 24 hours to fix and they'd call me the next day. A week later I call and they say, yep it's ready come get it. I go pick it up and they hand me my computer, but no power cord. I ask "Where is the power cord?" The guy runs into the back and comes back with a cord that is not MY power cord and tells me one of the guys accidently sent my power cord with another customer and they ordered me a new one and they'd call me when it got there. I have yet to hear from them. SUPER ANNOYING!

I don't think I have ever had a big problem with any kind of customer service. They say bad luck hits in sets of three so hopefully I've had my share and the customer service world will return to normal and be nice and call me when they say they will!

So I haven't posted in over two months because my computer was out of comish but I expect to be posting more often from now on now that I FINALLY have my computer back and the internet is FINALLY up and running in my apartment building after being offline for the last couple weeks. :)

Men

Men - Sometimes they act like a girl more than I do. They are positive of what they want and claim they are never fickle yet can't commit to anything because they don't know what they want. Moody. Unpredictable. They accuse women of not being clear in communication with the opposite sex and I say, what part of saying nothing at all is clear communication? At least we talk! Why is it that they can't have girl-friends when they have a girlfriend? Sometimes they throw away years of friendship. Sometimes they drop off the face of the earth and are never heard from again. Sometimes they apologize for something and then turn around and do it again. There are times when it has been days between sightings. They only want to do something if it was their idea. They have very selective hearing, seeing, remembering, and understanding. I could go on forever but the bottom line is, I don't understand them in any way. The end.